What happens on the golf course stays there

A friend commented on the dichotomy of golfers: that those particularly dedicated to the game are focused on playing less.

In other words, the more you love the game and the better you become at it, the fewer times you want to hit the ball. I explained that under no circumstances does that apply to me.

In fact, during any game except those when I keep track of my score, determined by how I play the first three holes, I may liberally engage in the freedom of “do-overs”.

“Do-overs” are not approved by the PGA or utilized by the golfing men of Ritzville. If a golf guy finds a need to drop a ball, place a new ball into play because he drove one so ultra hard or erred in direction that it went out of bounds, he adds two points to his score. That is so mean.

If we women find it necessary to drop a ball, it’s always after careful consideration and possibly prayer. We take seriously that we made a mistake, and want to correct it.

Why would anyone want to penalize such righteous behavior? I’m stymied by that mindset.

While we are on the subject, why is it that guys (yes, Mark, this includes you) find it necessary to tell us what we just did wrong when we make any of the myriad mistakes that golfers make every day?

There are a thousand of them, and we know what golf sin is, we’ve committed at the very second it happens. We also feel badly about it because we want to play well.

So a suggestion to you guys: the next time that you are playing with your wife, girlfriend, daughter, friend, or niece, and want to remind her that she just goofed and that you know why, keep in mind that she’s the one holding the club.

The exception to that rule is if she looks at you, bewilderment flashing across her lovely face, and says, “What happened?” At that time you will want to answer her gently, but truthfully. She is vulnerable and looking to you for truth and encouragement.

For example, you might want to say, “Perhaps you should focus on moving only your upper body and anchoring from the waist down” instead of an inappropriate statement about hip shaking. Considerations can save relationships.

I do want to address the issue of language. I have heard my wonderful golfing girl friends spew language following a less than perfect play that one would never expect to hear from such fun-loving women.

Words like piddle, jeepers, what the heck was that, and yelling at the ball when the third putt results in it circling the hole without falling in. What one hears on the golf course stays on the golf course.

Except when writing an article to enlighten women who might want to play golf with us but who fear that we are strict about following PGA rules and judgmental of others’ games. Pshaw, there’s another one.

We are fun and out to enjoy the fellowship and exercise of a couple of hours in the wind-cleansed air and soothing sunshine of Ritzville. Then we eat lunch in the clubhouse, thus offsetting the huge number of calories we’ve just spent.

It’s a great way to spend Monday mornings, and I urge you to join us. Call me at 509-385-8434 if you want to join us or have questions.