Swinging into 2016 Ladies Golf, the Café

This year’s Ladies’ Golf season has opened and is in full swing. We welcomed several new participants this year.

Our first Monday, we enjoyed an excellent brunch at the Fairway Café, which is now under new management. The food is good and Chris, the manager, is creative. Try the burrito bowl one day and you will agree.

I am gluten intolerant, and she has produced meals for me that were delicious, and that’s not easy without bread, gravy, ketchup or pasta. She makes an award-worthy potato salad as well as a variety of crispy and tasty salads, wraps, chili (in season), hot dogs and many others.

You do not have to play golf to enjoy her fine food fare. She’s open all week, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. So stop for a good meal and get acquainted with another good and affordable, local eating-out option.

Back to that first Monday. We could not play golf because of the pesky winds and rain, so that was a bit of a disappointment.

On each subsequent Monday morning, we have gathered at 9:45 for a 10 tee-off, and have had a wonderful lunch after our first nine holes. This schedule will continue until the spring turns to summer, and pleasant turns to sizzling, at which time we will meet at 9 a.m.

One of our goals is to align our play with PGA rules. Or at least be in the neighborhood.

Men abide by PGA rules when they play. However, PGA rules don’t include do-overs which women treasure.

For example, Sunday I managed to position myself perfectly, ball toward my left big toe like I’ve been taught, right knee locked, head down and club held with the grip of champions. I swung smoothly and well, and the ball went backwards between my legs.

I have no idea how that happened. It had to be a fluke, so rare that men’s rules should allow that I shave awe-points off my score. But noooo. No credit for creativity on the fairway.

However, women’s rules allowed me to drop the ball in exactly the same place and perform a do-over without penalty. It was as if the boo-boo had never occurred.

I made a great drive straight down the fairway. I felt better about the game, did not cry, nor did I waste time boring everyone with regrets about my total lack of athlete DNA.

Did you know that if a player uses the golf club like a pool cue and thusly sinks the ball, it’s a two-stroke penalty? In fact, the player doesn’t have to sink the ball. Just behaving stupidly is worth two points.

Ditto should the player use the handle instead of the putter head to sink the ball, why would anyone do that? The penalty is officially incurred for pushing the ball instead of hitting it, and another stroke for not using the club head (ThomasGolf USGA rule 14.1.) Who thinks of these rules?

There are times when using anything at hand to sink that darned ball seems appropriate.

Then there’s the treasured Gimme. That is used when a ball lands close to the cup but doesn’t travel that last few inches into it. We all know that golfer is going to make that putt, so we cheerfully exclaim, “That’s a gimme!” at which time the lucky golfer acts surprised, smiles large, picks up his/her ball, and profusely thanks the generous players.

Men also use the Gimme technique, but probably as a time saving device more than a display of generosity, friendship and encouragement.

I think Gimme’s were designed by men as an efficiency tool and co-opted by women as a nicety.

Women are nice people. Men are nice people, too, but are less flexible and creative when competing.

If you are a lady who likes to play golf, or if you have in the past and want to brush up, come to the Ritzville Golf Course Clubhouse at 9:45 a.m. (until further notice) every Monday, sign in, pay your $10 for as many holes as you want to play, and expect to have a great time.

You can rent a cart or ride with one of the other ladies. We have a great group of golfers and have lots of fun together. And we are always thoughtful and kind.

If you are a man who wants to play, come to the clubhouse at noon. That’s when the guys gather. They will welcome you.