A Sizzling Success

A couple weeks have passed since our 2014 Annual Women’s Golf Tournament, which is cleverly entitled “Puting On The Ritz”.

For four years running (and this is my fourth tournament), my partner and I came in last.

This year, that unfortunate and tested friend was Patty. It was her first tournament and, were she a lesser person, could have been her last. But Patty is made of sterner stuff and in fact we remain fast friends despite my contribution to her pitiful tournament standing.

The tournament was held in the midst of our weeks-long, hotter-than-a-hot-flash heat wave. If I remember correctly, the thermometer at our house (which parallels the National Weather Service reading every time), topped out at 105 that day. That means by the time we finished 18 holes at about 2 p.m., it was surely in triple digits.

Even for golfers in Ritzville that’s daunting, especially since we have lost so many trees in the past few years. Our fairways are no longer as well shaded and the roughs are worse. A glowing lady can’t easily find a shady spot on the golf course to cool off anymore.

Nonetheless, we enjoyed the experience.

A highlight is that every year, Tony Burke and former Ritzville resident Sam Culley faithfully serve us with an iced mocha or fruit drink at the conclusion of Fairway 3.

The respite is not only yummy but serves to revive us. We need the sugar by then. Our foursome teed off on Fairway 4, so by the time we reached Tony and Sam, we had played our first nine holes and were in serious need of something to boost our energy. What Tony and Sam serve is libation perfection.

After 18 grueling and sizzling holes, lunch was welcomed and delicious, and met the quality one has learned to expect from the Fairway Cafe at the clubhouse. It’s a good place for a good meal.

My partner Patty birdied on 2, and with her handicap her net score was 0.

How’s that for impressive?

She won money for it and I expect it to be the beginning of an impressive pro career for her.

I have come to the conclusion that golfing with colored balls carries no advantage.

I use fuchsia, and they can be found from time to time in various places where I am unable to locate them during the stress of a game.

I think the pressure of playing well enough that others don’t laugh out loud causes me to overlook them because those bright pink balls do stand out against a well-manicured green (or if they are in the rough, a dead-weeds-brown) background.

I do find it unfortunate that during a tournament, losing a ball costs points. Isn’t it enough of a penalty to actually lose it? Why heap misery atop loss? Unfortunately, those rules are compiled by a panel of sadists who don’t ask my opinion.

Another questionable rule is that if one hits the ball twice during a drive, there’s a penalty. The offense occurs when a player swings the club and it results in a double encounter with the ball. It’s sort of magical, really, and possibly should be looked upon with wonder and awe. It seems to me that if a player is talented enough to pull that off, it should result in a benefit, not a penalty.

Perhaps I, along with a personally selected panel of rational, golf-loving ladies, should compile our own list of rules that are actually fair and reasonable and present them to the PGA. Hmmm, something to ponder and discuss before our next Puting on the Ritz event in 2015.

For those lady golfers who aren’t part of the Monday morning (unofficial) Women’s Golf Gathering at the Ritzville Clubhouse, you might consider joining us.

We thoroughly enjoy the weekly event. We will continue gathering until the weather changes and mornings are close to icy.

We currently meet at 9 a.m., and the cost is $10 greens fees (unless you have a season’s pass) plus a cart fee if you choose to rent one although you can probably ride with, and thus get to know, another of the fabulous Ritzville golfing ladies.

On to 2015 ladies! Another tournament awaits.