Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

I helped a friend of mine with her daughter’s graduation reception. The daughter, Elizabeth, and friend, Caitlin, held a joint celebration and I would guess that about 150-200 people from infancy to lavishly mature stages of life attended. The tables filled quickly, plates were heaped with varieties of homemade delights, and the festive roar of friendly dialogue filled the room.

Elizabeth and Caitlin are fine examples why, in a world and culture in which there seems to be little to admire anymore, we can still take pride in our youth. They hold the capability for excellence and the potential to restore order, tradition and distinction that so many of us remember and yearn to see again.

They come from homes where God is central, manners ever-present, conventional values instilled and woven into the fabric of daily endeavors, ideas encouraged, respect and consideration on display, learning and knowledge lauded, and mature guidance from parents a constant.

Elizabeth and Caitlin will depart Ritzville to attend college, and chances are they won’t return here to live.

The day prior, my stalwart husband, Mark, and I attended the wedding where Andrea Cox became Andrea Bahr, wife to Kenny. It was a charming and lovely affair, held outdoors on the expansive and manicured lawns of a mansion in Spokane. The groomsmen wore kilts and swords, and the comfortable casualness of the service allowed the bride and groom’s enjoyment of the event to be contagious.

We spoke with several young adults whom we hadn’t seen for, in some cases, several years because they have been busy with college and life in general. They have moved away for various reasons and have neither plans nor desires to return.

Andrea and Kenny will settle in Los Angeles. Those of us who have known Andrea for years were hopeful that they would settle in Spokane (Kenny comes from there although they met at college in California). But alas, they decided to accept positions in a church in a dangerous and large city two states away.

As I, and many of my peers, evaluate the condition of our town, we realize that our youth are oftentimes driven to leave what we cherish most: the safety and culture of a small town where nothing changes much.

We enjoy the security of familiar practices, safety of a town where gangs don’t want to live and wouldn’t exist for long if they tried (thanks to excellent law enforcement and Wild West determination), sidewalks where the only danger to walkers comes from tree roots that corrupt the concrete, people who desire to know about others’ situations for reasons other than simple nosiness.

We care for one another.

Our youth, however, want excitement and opportunity, and they appreciate anonymity. Big cities offer that. It’s where ideas that change the world emerge, and people who have the abilities to implement them reside.

There’s an energy and buzz of anticipation in big cities that will never exist here.

The young embrace population density, ridiculous price tags, hours-long commutes, traffic lights, one-fingered salutes from rude drivers on the interstate, in-your-face aggression from those who demand instant acceptance of practices that sometimes defy logic and values, and a lifestyle that precludes relaxation, in order to engage in the positives those cities offer.

We spend years watching little ones grow and develop. We speculate on who they will become, what they will offer, marvel that we were once that sweet, non-cynical, smart, imaginative, and thin. We celebrate every ‘first’, watch with wonder as they progress, revel in their achievements, and then we say goodbye. It’s bittersweet.