The ability to disagree

I have thought a lot lately about our ability to disagree with others in a professional and appropriate manner. This topic is not something new but rather something I have considered many times during my career in education.

Often times we use phrases like, in the good ole days, or we used to, or when I was a child. I wonder if (insert one of the phrases I just mentioned) we used to be able to have debates and disagreements over issues in a better way. Was there ever truly a time where society was able to look at an issue, provide individual and/or group perspectives, and disagree without alienating, berating, yelling, or talking down to one another?

In my opinion, technology has played a major role in our increasing inability to discuss issues and disagree with one another when appropriate. Email, social media sites like Facebook, texting, and voicemail have allowed us to provide our point of view in ways we would never consider in person. It’s far too easy to write our concerns and push the “send” button. It’s much more difficult to discuss issues in person (and respectfully) when we have differing points of view.

As a school administrator for the past seven years I have definitely received my share of “interesting” emails and voicemail messages. It is definitely easier for some individuals to leave a profanity-filled voicemail message or send an email with many capital letters and exclamation points than it is to discuss an issue in person. To be completely fair, there have also been times where I have sent letters or emails when in reality it would have been better for me to have met individually or with a group that I was addressing. There have been times where I too could have been accused of “hiding” behind a letter or email.

I believe a certain amount of disagreement is healthy. There isn’t a system, whether local or state government, schools, or any other entity, where it is healthy for everyone to agree all of the time.

In fact, a system where everyone agrees all of the time probably isn’t a system that is improving or growing. The key, however, is the manner in which we disagree. Can we keep our cool, provide our perspectives in an appropriate manner, and engage in meaningful dialogue without personal attacks?

In my opinion, our society would be much better off if we were willing to listen to one another, consider different perspectives, agree to disagree from time to time and in appropriate ways, and, as much as possible, pull together in the same direction for the overall good of our cities, schools, state, and nation.